I'm a Black Gay HIV+ Man and guess WHAT? I matter

Yesterday afternoon I had the pleasure of attending the press conference of the Black AIDS Institute, where they spoke about their most recent publication release entitled "Left Behind".

It is a perfectly ironic title for how I felt sitting in the audience as a gay black man living with HIV. While I am honestly extremely happy about "my people" coming together and issuing a call for; "a national AIDS strategy equivalent of PEPFAR", "An investment of 1.3 Billion in National Prevention programs", "Needle Exchange Programs", "Testing 1 Million people" and "support for traditional Black Institutions". While there are many issues I have with the "Left Behind," and the press conference itself it is the last that I will focus on in this blog.

I deeply agree that federal support for Black Institutions must be increased in order to have an impact on the devastation that is happening in the Black community. An issue that was not covered yesterday, however, is the work that Black Institutions must do.

In both the press conference yesterday, and in many of the institutions I come into contact with, the conversation around GAY Black Men is limited and in some cases none exsitent.

With the recent new incidence numbers released by the CDC and the outrage expressed by the BAI press conference around it, I find it angering that the focus has not shifted to Black GAY Men. In my mind it would make sense that those who experience stigma and discrimination (majority of people of color) would be more sensitive to such issues, but alas such is not the case with the larger Black community and from BAI's press conference they can be included in that group.

The largest population in new infections and fastest growing population was skated over and ignored, they were devalued and thrown away, much like many of them are thrown from their homes and communities that they grew up in. If we think that we are going to change anything about the HIV epidemic in America without confronting our own homophobic and AIDS-phobic behavior in our churches, neighborhoods and larger institutions then we are DEAD wrong and even the numbers tell us so.

In yesterday's press conference from one of the leading institutions dealing solely and "unapologetically with the Black community," it hurt and angered me that my life and those of my fellow gay Black men were mentioned as a trite behavioral (MSM) description and classified like we are in many of the "White" institutions that have the finger pointed at them in the report.

I was so angry upon leaving that I wanted to cry, my only solice was a question posed by Dazon Dixon-Diallo which dared to ask about the co-factors that contribute to HIV infection in the Black community (it was much more eloquent however).

As panelists danced in circles like Baryshikov around her question, only one had the audacity to actually name a co-factor -- the honorable Rep. Barbara Lee (D-CA), who referenced the grave disparities in incarceration for Black men. I applaud her and thank her for starting the real conversation.